In class my classmates presented their scenes. After hearing feedback, I made some changes to my own past scene. The scene in this blog post is the revision of a scene I made in a previous post titled “Composing a past scene.” If you would like to read the original, then click here.
A sudden feeling of da-dum..da-dum..da-dum went across my chest as I noticed her right index finger facing toward it on the wall. “What’s this?” she said. It was a cold windy afternoon in an otherwise clear sunny day in 2007. I was seven years old. At the time my family and I were living in an apartment in Berat, Albania. We were on the 2nd floor. “Alright, here you go” my mom said as she rested the plate on the table in front of me. It was green peas. A meal I enjoy today, but back then, my tongue just couldn't stand it. It didn’t matter who cooked it. Seeing a disgusted look on my face my mom added “That plate better be empty when I get back” as she closed the door. I grabbed my spoon and tasted it. “Ew!!” Just chewing on them left a bad taste. “Ughhh, how am I going to finish this?”, I said to myself. Then an idea came to me. I went and opened the window in the living room. I looked down to see nice green grass surrounding the building. “This is brilliant.” I say to myself. I came back to the kitchen to grab the plate. As I was walking toward the window I notice that I spilled some juice on the floor. I put the plate on a table, grabbed a napkin, and cleaned up the stain. “Phew”, I said to myself as I threw the napkin on the green trash can, “Good thing I noticed that.” I continued towards the window and felt a light breeze come in as I opened it. I grab the plate and gently tilt it over. The sound of those peas hitting the grass shocked me a little as it was coming to me what I was doing. It didn’t stop me tho. I continued until the plate was empty and that the only thing remaining were the stains around it that showed it previously contained something. I closed the window and put the plate back on the table. About twenty minutes later I hear the front door open as my mom came back. After we greet each other she asked “Did you finish?” “Of course” “The whole thing?” “Uhuhh” “Let me see” I grabbed the plate and tilted it for her to see. “Good job!”, she said. A couple of hours passed. I was in my room doing homework when I hear my mom call “Ani!” “Yeah” “Come here!” I left my room and went to the kitchen. to see my mom by the window pointing at something below it on the wall. I could feel the left side of my chest beating as my heart was racing. It was a stain. “What is this?” she asked. “Umm… I don’t…. Um… I don’t know.” “It’s a stain. It smells like peas. Did… Did you dump them outside?” “No” “Don’t lie to me” “No” “You swear?” “Yes” “So if I go outside I won’t find them?” “Yes.” There was a brief pause. Then she said “Okay.” I felt a bit of relief that I got away with it. It was short last hoewer as I saw my mom putting on her coat and leaving. She came back a few minutes later. I can’t remember what I saw first: the anger on her face, or green peas covered by crumbled blades of green grass sitting in her right glove. “You lied to me!” she said. With tears rolling down my face I cried “I’m sorry!” “Why would you lie” “I don’t know, it didn't taste good.” “I don’t care if it didn’t taste good! It’s healthy and you should if ate it.” “Okay!” “There are people out there begging to eat not only do you just toss it, but you lied to me about it.” “I’m sorry.” A tear rolled down her left eye as she said “I can’t believe you lied to me.”
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To help me write this post I listened to the podcast What You Don't Know (Lulu Wang) ,and read My Name is Margaret. For this blog post I’m practicing writing a scene from my past in which I made two decisions that had a negative impact. The scene takes place in Albania. I didn’t speak English back then so the dialogue was spoken in Albanian. Hoewer I have translated it.
It was a cold afternoon in 2007. I was seven years old. At the time my family and I were living in an apartment in Berat, Albania. We were on the 2nd floor. “Alright, here you go” my mom said as she rested the plate on the table in front of me. It was peas. A meal I enjoy today, but back then, my tongue just couldn't stand it. It didn’t matter who cooked it. Seeing my disgust my my mom added “That plate better be empty when I get back” as she closed the door. I grabbed my spoon and tasted it. “Ew!!” Just chewing on them left a bad taste. I said to myself “Ughhh, how am I going to finish this?” Then an idea came to me. I went and opened the window in the living room. I looked down to see grass surrounding the building. “This is brilliant.” I say to myself. I came back to the kitchen to grab the plate. As I was walking toward the window I notice that I spilled some juice on the floor. I put the plate on a table, grabbed a napkin, cleaned up the stain and continued to the window. I felt a light breeze come in as I opened it. I grab the plate and gently tilt it over. I hear the peas flying down. The sound of it hitting the grass shocked me a little as it was coming to me what I was doing. This didn’t stop me tho. I continued until the plate was empty and there was nothing left except the stains around it that showed it previously contained something. I close the window and put the plate back on the table. About twenty minutes later I hear the front door open as my mom came back. After we greet each other she asks “Did you finish?” “Yes” “The whole thing?” “Uhuhh” “Let me see” I grabbed the plate and tilted it for her to see. Seeing it’s empty she smiled and said “Good job!” A couple of hours passed. I was in my room doing homework when I hear my mom call me. “Ani!” “Yeah” “Come here!” I left my room and went to the kitchen to see my mom by the window pointing at something below it on the wall. I could feel the left side of my chest beating as my heart was racing. It was a stain. “What is this?” she asked. “Umm… I don’t…. Um… I don’t know.” “It’s a stain. It smells like peas. Did… Did you dump them outside?” “No” “Don’t lie to me” “No” “You swear?” “Yes” “So if I go outside I won’t find them?” “Yes” “Okay” I felt a bit of relief that I got away with it. It was short last hoewer as I saw my mom putting on her coat and leaving. She came back a few minutes later. I can’t remember what I say first: the anger on her face, or grass and peas in her right glove. “You lied to me!” she said. With tears rolling down my face I cried “I’m sorry!” “Why would you lie” “I don’t know, it didn't taste good.” “I don’t care if it didn’t taste good! It’s healthy and you should if ate it.” “Okay!” “There are people out there begging to eat not only do you just toss it, but you lied to me about it.” “I’m sorry.” A tear rolled down her left eye as she said “I can’t believe you lied to me.” It took her a long time to forgive me. For this blog post I will be practicing writing a present scene. A written scene is designed to help the audience visualise what is happening in a reading. The formula for a scene is " Action + Description = Scene. To help me better understand what scene is I used these three readings.
I'm taking Septa bus 112 to 69th street transportation center. My school day at Delaware County Community College is over so I’m going home. I’m sitting to the right of the bus on the first non-handicap seat. I’m looking at the window to my right like I always do. I’m seeing buildings, people walking, and WOAH!!! A dear! Damn, I haven’t seen one of those in a while. Even at times when I do see one it’s always at night. I wish the bus was at a red light so I could have more time to look at it. It was just running across someone’s front yard. That was cool. I look up at led board to see the time. In red it reads “September 18, 2018 5:28pm.” Aahh, kinda sad that it’s about 5:30 in the afternoon and that was the most interesting part of my day so far. My phone starts vibrating. Damn it, I always forget to turn on the volume when I leave school. I reach in to my left pocket to get it. It’s mom. Usually she’s home by 8pm but day she got out early. I hit the green phone to answer. “Hello!”, I say. “Ani, where are you?”, she asks. I reply “Mom I’m on the bus. I told you I don’t get home till about 6 something.” She then says “Oh ok, Ok bye I’ll see you when you get home.” I close the phone. A minute passess. “Yo!” “Yo dude!”, someone calls me. I look to my left to where the sound came from. I see a man looking at me but pointing with his right index finger on the floor below my seat. “That yours?”, he asks. I look down to see the back of a card. I reach down and grab it. It’s my septa key card. “OH MY GOD!, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!” I say. It must have fell when I was getting my phone. How could I be so stupid and not notice it. I’m not taking a chance I’m putting it in my bookbag. Should I tell my parents I almost lost about $20. Naah, they’ll turn it into a life lesson like they always do. Hell, even when my mom messes up she always lectures me about it. Just last week she wasn’t paying attention and got on the wrong bus, and when she finally came home, she told me to always pay attention. So no, I’ll just leave this part out. I hear sirens. I feel and see the bus moving to the right. Really loudly, an ambulance passes. It’s a regular white ambulance with a red stripe. I wonder, how does everyone(including me) always be so normal when a vehicle with a siren passes by. I mean, someone is seriously hurt. Oh well We’re near 69th street. What a ride, a deer, keycard, and an ambulance. I might just make this my present scene blog. Introduction
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